the residents of a certain room are complaining they can't fall asleep.

*****1. just do dhikar, shaytaan will make you fall asleep.

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*****1. come on guys, take me seriously.
*****2. is that a joke?

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a few girls are consoling their distraught friend.

*****1. should we take her to the vet?

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discussing annoying fajar wakers.

*****1. man, i want to smack them

*****2. can you please knock em out before they get to my bed?

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*****1. don't eavesdrop. i'm talking to myself.

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*****1. i wish these windows would stop fogging up

*****2. stop breathing?

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*****1 grinds her teeth at being reprimanded on her attitude.

*****2. don't suck your teeth. brush them.

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*****1's hand is brushed by the non-muslim male serving her at the cashier as he passes her the change.

*****1. crap! now i have to do wudhu again :(

..........

*****1. *****2 is like a beacon of light in my life. a very dim light.

*****1 looks in the mirror after a long tiring day and feels her face looks like it's been trampled over. she turns to her roomies.

*****1. how comes you guys didn't tell me i looked this bad?
*****2. we thought you already knew

..........

*****1. how would i lie about not praying salaah?
*****2. lotsa practise

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students are discussing the tumultuous relationship between india and pakistan

*****1. the taj mahal is in karachi (she wasn't even joking).

*****2. yeah and the olympics originated in punjab.

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*****1. yo, i never knew it was halal for the bride and groom to talk on their walimah day.

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*****1. i don't write anything i don't understand.

*****2. which explains why most of your books are empty.

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*****1. all of us have a man hidden inside us
*****2. with punjabi women it's not so hidden

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a girl explains why she spelled out cafeteria in arabic instead of writing the correct arabic word for it.

*****1. can we say al-blondie?

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trying to wake a particularly stubborn girl for fajar

*****1. wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*****2. leave me alone. i'm going to do my qadaa when i wake up.

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*****1. i thought lying was only makruh

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*****1. white people in hollywood are originally brown
*****2. they get surgery done to become white
*****3. and when the surgery goes bad they become rappers

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*****1. my husband will be a decent, gangster molvi